Simple Love

February has about two things going for it:
Valentines Day and Cold Weather.

Typically,
I have maintained a neutral feeling concerning Valentines Day.
I’d call it apathetic.

Cold weather…now that’s a different story.

I never “hate” things, but bring up the cold and that word might slip.
While everyone is worried about their relationships or lack there of,
I remain mind consumed and miserable with thoughts of how to conquer Cold Weather.

It gives me two options on days below 35 degrees.
Either go outside looking like a combination of red-nosed rudolph and an 8-layer snowman
or stay under my covers with a heating pad wrapped around my face.

My roommates say I’m dramatic.
I say I’m at war with natural selection.

On to Valentines Day…

In previous years,
I was never the “bitter-eating-ice-cream-sending-myself-flowers” type
or the “falling-in-love-with-love” type.
I fell somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

Yet this year something weird came in with the wind.

Despite the cold,
February has topped as my favorite season yet.

I tried.
I tried so hard to fight against these softer and mushier parts of my heart,
yet I cracked.

I fell in love with a cute couple holding hands on campus.
I fell in love with a Walk to Remember, again.
I’ve played “Ain’t No Other Man” by Christina Aguilera without having one.
and I’ve enjoyed a lot of warm hugs (inspired by Olaf).

And it all began with a God-sent letter

The letter.

400 miles away in Oklahoma my sweet friend Allison took the time to write and send me a letter.

As most girls would agree, there is nothing like receiving a letter.

It’s a magical experience.
It’s like an older version of the tooth fairy tale.

In the middle of the night day…
a  fairy mailman…
gives you unearned money letters.
It’s awesome…unless it’s bills.

Anyways.

This letter got me thinking about Valentines Day…
What would it would mean to me this year if there was no romance,
no special someone?

And then I thought heck,
I live 10 feet away from 3 special someones,
I have many special someones right here in Austin,
and a bunch of other special someones in Dallas, San Antonio, San Marcus, Oklahoma, Louisiana, South Carolina, etc.

“‘True Love’ is not contained to long-term romance, but can happen in an instant, between anyone.”

It’s pretty simple.

Yet, in our world Love is anything but simple.

And many times we ignore it’s importance.
We are caught up in the idea that it is only about romantic love.
Love with definition and expectations and complicated rules about it.

We forget about the daily love,
the love between friends & family,
and even the love for ourselves.

I mean really…

Do you really love yourself?

I’ve been asked this question before, but never given it much thought.
It sounds too self-centered to think about.
Too arrogant.

But why the heck would I not think about it?
If we spend most of our lives with ourselves we better make sure we love who we are, right?

Therefore, I’ve thought about it.
And that’s hard.

There has definitely been times I haven’t loved myself at all.
I haven’t felt good enough, pretty enough, worthy of my blessings or of God,
haven’t felt up to par in school or in my relationships.

I made the love for myself technical & complicated.

My looks,
my grades,
my service,
my tongue,
my success
and my failure…

all these things would add up and subtract to place a value on the current amount of love I had for myself.

And what I found is that at times when I didn’t love myself,
it held back my capability to love others.

This month
by stepping back and renewing myself in God,
I turned all that complicated, mathematical love back to a simpler kind.

There is a simple truth that God has this unconditional,
undeserved love for his children and I am one of them.
And the simple core of our days need only to be about our love pursuit for Him
and his people.

Before the studying, the work, the errands, and the run…
it starts with that core.

And when you love God and who you are in Him,
life gets a heck of a lot easier.

I mean really…
you would be shocked how much easier,
simpler and satisfying it is to love others
when the love is motivated by something Greater.

What does simple love look like?
This month my roommates reminded me.

Five or six—I lost count—times in the past 14 days of February,
two of my roommates and I have woken up to the simple, sweet acts of another.

One day this month I ran around the house screaming because my toe–just one toe–was turning blue from the cold.

Why was my toe blue, you ask?
Because that’s what you get when you combined winter with a contract for a house built in the 1930s.

Despite being clearly dramatic, I woke up the next morning to one of Nicole’s many love acts.

On a more difficult day of the past two weeks
I found the answer to my weariness in sharpie on balloons.

And when impending Cellular Nutrition & Biochemistry tests kept me at my desk for 48 hours straight, she gave me her love in the form of my favorite dark chocolate.

Words are clearly an important indicator of love to me.

I would choose a sweet letter over a gift most any day.
As if I needed another reason for friends to call me an old lady.

But…I will say:
I am really quite simple and I would just love tea, pickled vegetables or candles for anyone in the market for my Valentines gift.

Along with words and gifts, love has come from “time spent.”

One of my favorite moments of time spent was at Halcyon.
S’mores were involved.
All was good.

At one point I looked across the table at Lee and thought…
Wow… Lee looks gorgeous!
Then I thought…
damn maybe I do need a man.

Important lesson learned that night:
Never trust drunk older women to take your picture.
They most likely will not understand zoom or focus.
It will take 10-15 attempts.

February 14th, 2014:

Some serious lovin went down on Valentine’s Day.

Erin pranced around the house redeeming her once lost love for all things love.
Nicole made cupcakes.
Bella didn’t pee in my room.
Lee brought me back to the 90’s with a candy necklace.
Erin fulfilled my Valentine’s Day gift dreams…

I couldn’t help but to tie a Bachelor theme into my gift.

Most importantly it was 70 degrees.

The day ended with a few simpler things earth has to offer…
wine, mexican food and the bachelor.

It’s funny how powerful, yet simple love is.

It began with 12 disciples simply drawn to the Message and Love of Jesus Christ,
yet has become 38,000 denominations under God all fighting over the correct age to baptize a baby.

St. John Wesley felt compelled to turn the complexity of Christianity back into a simple system,
and he founded his Methodist denomination on three simple rules:

Do no harm
Do good
And stay in love with God

And I would love to live more days this year by those rules
because I believe the rest of them will follow.

Simple as that.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

1 John 4:7